Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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