After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize