You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
