Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
