Michael Bay diarrhea
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
