we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
