Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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