Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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