he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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