Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
"it" just moved
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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