so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
