I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
