my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
