Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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