I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
