You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
