this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
