also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
