You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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