If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
