Swine flu. Run for my life!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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