I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
