Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
