Ambien. No doubt about it.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
as a side note pls kill me
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