The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
