i just had sex bonerless
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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