Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
