I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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