We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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