You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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