is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
