did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
only you would photoshop your dick
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
