haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
