I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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