I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
