Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
this just has baby written all over it
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
