I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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