it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
