for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
