Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
