im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
