Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
