Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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