i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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