what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
