I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
