Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm like, not good at living.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
