I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The ass gains better be worth it
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