I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
