i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
