A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
