And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
