I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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