Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize