im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm too high and old for this...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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