Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
