So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
