Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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