So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
