I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
