at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
