the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
