so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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