Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
