the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
