my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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