I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
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I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
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Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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