very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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