So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Text me some of your sweat
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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