Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
