this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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