Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.