so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
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Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
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ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.