there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
